Are you sure you want to teach?

Did you know statistics show  that teachers leave the profession, at rates of somewhere between 10% and 15% over their first five years of teaching? While my first year was one of the most challenging years of my life, my third year was equally if not more challenging and had me considering becoming a part of the above statistics.

After two years of teaching middle school students with Special Needs in Rocky Mount, NC, I decided to move to Charlotte, NC with Aaron (my now husband).  This was a fresh start for me.  Not only was I moving to Charlotte with Aaron, I also felt like I could follow my dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.  I found a 4th/5th grade teaching position at a local charter school that followed various pedagogical philosophies. The principles in which the school was founded included: constructivist learning and emergent curriculum through the Emilia Reggio framework, and arts integration. Further, we were a community based school which meant, in addition to the previous stated educational concepts, we also worked in close partnership with various community programs, schools, universities, and nonprofits. The school also catered to a diverse array of students inclusive of approximately 75% of students qualifying for free or reduced lunch as well approximately 65% students of color.  

Due to the school model and being the only 4th/ 5th grade teacher, I had three sets of siblings making up nearly 25% of the class.  It was also expected of the third, fourth, and fifth grade teachers to uphold the model framework of the school and ensure the North Carolina (NC) State Standards were followed given, students in those grades would have to take the NC End of Grade (EOG) reading and math tests.  It is further important to mention, I was offered the job one week before school began, therefore, I had a lot to learn in very little time. 

On the first family night of the year (which took place three days after my start date) one of the kindergarten/ first grade teachers shared, “Wow you have some big kids! I hope you are ready for it.”  I remember my heart beating a bit faster but thinking, “I’ve got this.  After two years of teaching in a middle school as well as teaching students with various special needs, I can do anything.  Teaching in a general education classroom with 26 students will be a breeze.”  Little did I know, my two years of experience was not enough. 

Unlike my first two years of teaching, where in my journal for both years I had written, “Today was my first day ever teaching.  It was eerily calm,” and “Similar to last year, my first day was once again, eerily calm. Maybe the first day of school is just like this,” my first day at this new school was anything but calm.  I wrote in my journal that first day, “Today was pure chaos! Tomorrow has to be better.”  

Because this was an elementary school I came in believing students would be eager to learn, bright eyed, easily managed and obedient.   My class, while it had some bright-eyed and eager students, it also consisted of students who had a lot more experience at the school than me. Some students had been there since kindergarten and therefore had been classmates for five years.  They already knew how to push each other’s buttons, and they quickly shared, (some even demanding) who they could and could not sit by or stand next to in line. Additionally, like many classrooms then and still now, I had three students who were diagnosed with ADHD and were prescribed medication.  (Note: I say prescribed because the medication was not always taken.)

Because we were a small school, I taught a full day.  I ate lunch and even took my students to recess. An important note as well, the school was located in a church in downtown Charlotte.  The location was amazing however, because of the school being in a church and located essentially in “Center City”, to play at recess we walked to a park approximately a quarter a mile away. This meant that part of the day was spent walking 26 students to and from recess in downtown Charlotte.  

By the end of that first week I was already questioning if I was cut out for teaching. I was not ready for the emotional needs of some of the students. Siblings were distracted by siblings. Emotional outbursts were a norm for a few students.  And, I had done little to build culture amongst the class thinking that expectations and management was what was needed. If I could just keep the students “in check” all would be fine. 

Within the second week of school, Anissa Miller (a dream of a partner teacher who saved my life many times), offered to take three students off my hands, two of whom were from sibling pairs and another student whom she had taught the year before. While this would put her class at over 20 students that year, this switch would also make her class a combined 2nd/3rd/4th grade class.  If she thought ill or negatively of it, she never showed it.  She was there to support students, their families and her colleagues.  This was immeasurably helpful however, the already challenging situation in my class continued. 

At the third week mark I revamped my behavior system, but alas, behaviors didn’t change. Well, mine did.  I had taken to yelling.  I can’t even remember what most students were doing, however I do remember five students in particular who tested my will and patience every day and experienced my lack of patience forcefully: Q, Kira, Allen, Alton, and Tre.  Rarely did these five students do the work assigned to them.  If something did not go their way they would erupt and yell.  Four of the five students were at or above grade level academically (similar to Jay), however their emotional and maturational needs were, at that time and so I thought, beyond my abilities and teacher toolbox. All five grew bored quickly and when redirected, they would protest by interrupting instruction, laying on the floor crying out loud, and often refusing to do their work.  Not surprisingly, other students would become frustrated and their frustration was often taken personally and added to the outbursts of the five students.  

While I had taught students with behavioral and emotional disabilities in my first year of teaching, I guess I didn’t feel the strategies I used in that classroom applied here.  The more I tried to “manage”, the more students acted out, and the more they acted out, the more I yelled.  I even took to isolating the five students.  They were seated with their backs to the rest of the class and were only allowed to be at the end of the line.  Their isolated yet collective dynamic only made matters worse, and  I kept yelling.  

By October, in my heart I was done with teaching.  I couldn’t do it anymore.  I thought teaching elementary students was my dream but it so clearly wasn’t.  At one point the school leader called me into his office and told me that the offices above us were complaining about my yelling.  Even more embarrassingly, my yelling was caught on television.  On one of our field trips downtown we were walking back to the school and took a detour.  The students noticed the afternoon news was being broadcast via one of the buildings (imagine The Today Show patrons standing in the background smiling and waving while the news is being broadcast inside). The students embraced the opportunity of being on television, shouting with glee, waving excitedly, jumping up and down. While they were overjoyed, I was annoyed and embarrassed and well, yelled.  The next day one of the local college students who happened to be volunteering that day actually said that her mom had been watching the news, stating she had seen her daughter on tv, and further wondered, “Who was that white lady yelling and losing her mind.” (This quote was in my journal too and not my proudest moment.) 

Shortly following the news incident, family-teacher conferences came which were not only humbling but also a pretty desperate wake up call.  Families were threatening to take their children out of the school as many expressed to the school leader and me, “This is not the school we signed up for.” The most humbling conference was with a mom who had two students at the school and who had been there much longer than me.  Always dressed to the nines in her business outfits and heels, she carried herself with ease and confidence. She had a deep soulful voice that resonated any time she spoke and she never shied away from speaking her truth. I was equal parts in awe and intimated by this mom. Her words will forever be imprinted in my mind, “Are you sure you want to teach? Because if you don’t want to teach my children then you need to leave.  My boys aren’t going anywhere and yelling is not teaching. I am their mom. I get to yell at them. You don’t. But know this, if you stay, I will help you!  You NEED help and we are community. Make up your mind.”  I took her up on the support and decided I would give it another go. 

The week following the conferences I took two mental health days. Both days were spent restructuring my classroom.  In my planning I was committed to calling on the families to help and I was going to make this work.  First I reset my classroom approach. This time instead of a “system” I was going to work on culture and I did this under the guise of Operation S.M.A.R.T (Scholarly, Motivated, Accountable, Respectful, and Think). The focus on would be on the positives and celebrating when my students were doing well instead of focusing on what they weren’t doing.  It would allow students to show up as leaders and the premise would be to help cultivate a community.  

While the classroom system and perspective was a shift, the biggest change I made was in fact how I worked alongside my students’ families.  One evening I invited all of my students’ parents and guardians to my apartment complex for a barbecue.  This was the ultimate game changer. Aaron grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and we broke bread on a rooftop terrace overlooking the city.  Families got to know me better, but more importantly, I got to know them.  

Within a month, families were volunteering in my classroom, bringing in snacks, supplying materials and supporting our efforts. 

Over the next few months the entire dynamic of the classroom began to change.  Through a community partnership with a local private school, students began researching colleges and talking about their dream colleges.  We partnered with Johnson C. Smith University, a local Historically Black University that provided science lessons and support.  Each year a student and a professor would come to our school and focus on a scientific theme. That year’s theme was environment with an emphasis on photosynthesis.  Culminating the eight week program, the class would be required to present what they learned in an arts integrated way.  The students decided they wanted to do a play, therefore, we wrote a “play”.  It was a mere 20 minutes with students explaining through drama and song the concept of photosynthesis.  

We also hosted a coffee house poetry slam.  One of my student’s family members worked at Dean and Deluca’s Coffee shop and had the store donate coffee and treats.  Another worked at Chick-fil-A and had donated catered nuggets and sandwiches.  A family donated a brand new flat screen tv to be raffled off so that we could raise money for the annual 4th/5th grade field trip.  We raised enough money to visit Wake Forest as well as other historical places in the area.  And, we managed to raise enough money to celebrate the fifth grade culmination with a limousine ride for all twelve fifth graders along with a fancy sit down lunch alongside their families at a local restaurant in downtown Charlotte. 

We had so many qualitative successes and also monumental and historical quantitative successes worth celebrating. While the school did not necessarily put too much emphasis on EOG’s given its values, we were still required to take the state test.  That year 100% of my fifth graders and 90% of my fourth graders passed both the math and reading tests. 

Dear 4th and 5th graders of 2004,

I was ready to quit teaching all together that year.  For as long as I can remember, my dream was to be an elementary teacher but early in that school year, I figured I would go work at Starbucks and be a barista.  (It had to be easier).  

However, you and your families did not give up on me. Your families rallied and supported me because of their love for you and all of the students in that class.  

You and your families taught me expectations and “management” are not enough to support a successful classroom and further taught me, relationships are at the heart of any successful classroom. Even though many of you already knew each other, you made me realize how important it is  to build in culture where the teachers and students know one another deeply and where the teacher understands and knows their students’ families. 

You all taught me,just because a school has a “Low Income” title does not mean a school has little.  That year I learned that wealth and riches come in many different forms. The greatest form is love for children.  While some families might not have had monetary means, they did have resources beyond means of wealth.  When you as students asked for something for the class, it was ours.  From a T.V. being donated, to always having ample classroom snacks, to providing a genuine coffee house, and so much more, the families rallied together and gave this group of 4th and 5th graders so much.  

You all taught me humility in the most humble of ways.  I came in cocky, once again thinking I alone had all of the answers. As people reached out their hands to me and as I took them, I learned I could hang on a lot longer.  I could keep teaching.  Did I master the art of teaching and relationships that year? Absolutely not. However, I did learn that this is not isolated work.  The old adage “it takes a village” couldn’t be better applied to the lessons you all taught me.  

I miss you all and appreciate the memories.  I know in too many ways, especially early on, I did you wrong but thanks to your families, your biggest advocates, the year turned out alright. 

Thank you for your bright-eyed, eager selves.

With All My Heart, 

Ms. (Adams) Pomis 

Culture is Key 

You have likely heard the quote “Culture eats strategy for lunch”.  If you haven’t then definitely dig into the text because that school year I found this to be the truth.  When I revamped my classroom from not just a stand point of systems but in fact culture, the dynamic changed.  When you are needing to reset your classroom or if you are new to teaching and wondering where to start, begin with your vision.  What do you want to be true by the end of that year for your students? What will your students be able to know and do?  Now, take that statement, parse it out and decide on how you want and what will help your students get there.  These are not lessons in isolation, but recurring themes, practices, exercises, discussions that happen throughout the year.  The first week I introduced Operation S.M.A.R.T we spent a day on each characteristic, writing, reading, discussing, and reflecting. We said a daily pledge (boy I wish I still had that pledge). Students would write daily, weekly, and quarterly goals prompted by the words S.M.A.R.T.  The focus on culture in fact changed our culture.

Lean on your students’ families

You are not alone in this work.  I don’t know if I had a savior complex, if I was just naïve, or had something to prove, but the second I surrendered my pride and asked for help (well was demanded that I ask for help-Thank you Ms. Toshiko) my whole experience changed.  I was happier, my students were happier, and their families were happier.  Not only did I set aside my pride but I was also forced to look at the biases and the stereotypes I was holding onto.  Our students’ families are most often their children’s greatest advocates.  Advocacy shows up in very different ways.  As educators, just as we must see the gifts and potential of our students, we have to do the same for their families.  When you do, they see you differently.  There is a bond of trust that is formed and when that happens so much more happens for our students. 

Be humble 

As a white female educator who has taught majority students of color, I can only imagine what my students’ families thought of me.  Actually, I know because some of them told me (I thank them for that now).  I was a cocky young white girl from Colorado who had taught for two years and thought I knew so much.  What I learned from that year is, I know nothing in comparison to what I have to learn.  We always can be taught and pushed and developed and that year was a pivotal point in my journey to becoming a learner.  When you have a colleague like an Annisa Miller, stop, watch, listen, and learn.  When I did, I became a better teacher.  When you have parents and students’ family members like Wendy Vandehei, Toshiko Cunningham, Ann Betts, Josette Pochet Duncan, Betty Jones, Christine and Kurtley Jones, Scott and Linda Keeter (I could go on…) you know you are set up for success.  Find ways to know your students’ families. Find ways to connect with them beyond family-teacher conferences and let them know you are going to love and care for their child as much as you humanly possibly can.  My favorite ways of connecting with families have been the simple survey asking them their hopes and dreams for their students, talking to them in line at dismissal, and of course breaking bread (classroom pancake breakfasts are a great place to start).

There are better options than yelling

I remember reading a story in my 6th year of teaching about a group of people who would yell at trees to essentially cut them down. While I don’t know the science to back the story, I do recall the message and how yelling and negative words can be so powerful that it could kill a tree. I wish I had read that story before I taught this class, but the message still rings true and I know now there are so many other options besides yelling. It starts with establishing relationships and developing a loving, trusting, hardworking culture in your classroom. You will find, if you do this, you won’t need to yell. And to do this, be sure you get to know your students deeply. Understand their wants and needs as well as their irritations, likes, and interests. Make sure that you don’t just gloss over your expectations the first day and then expect students to abide by them. Instead, immerse your expectation in your classroom vision and make meaningful lessons and opportunities for your students to engage with what should be true in your classroom. In these spaces, be sure you are prioritizing trust and understanding between your students. Exercises like, I Am Poems, Core Values Exercises, If You Really Knew Me Activities, Cross the Line/ Step In Exercise are all great ways for your students to get to know one another. And remember, classroom culture is not one and done. Think of your classroom culture like your hair. You don’t just wash it once and then forget about it. Nope, it is wash, rinse and repeat. Just as you likely want clean shiny hair, you are going to want a strong classroom culture. Therefore, remember wash, rinse and repeat.