Finding the Bright Side of the October Slide

This is not the only time I have used the practice “breathe” as a focus for “The ______ Teacher Series”.   In fact, I used it for the month of June as well.  However, despite weather and seasons being different between June and October, our experiences as educators in these two months are also extraordinarily different. 

Instead of ending the year, we are now in the throes of the school year. Behind us are two months but ahead of us are seven to eight months.  Some of us may have a fall break, but for most educators, October is one of our most demanding and longest months of the school year. Between the honeymoon being over, being in the depths of content as well having family teacher conferences, oh and the hype of the holiday season (particularly one filled with candy and the opportunity to be disguised as someone else), October as an educator is overwhelming to say the least.  

To not just survive this month but thrive in it, hopefully The September Teacher helped and supported you, however if you did not partake in A 15 Day Teacher’s Guide to Inner Peace and Direction that is a-okay because for the month of October, I have additional ways to support how we as educators can be productive without burning out.  

This month we will breathe, balance, and bask. 

Breathe

On a flight in 2019, shortly after I stopped drinking, I sat next to a woman whom I connected to on many levels. Usually on flights, I don’t talk to the people around me, however my younger son Aleko can talk to anyone about anything and instigated a conversation with our row-mate. I want to say we had also made some kind of sacrifice or something because the row-mate and I were offered a complimentary adult beverage and both of us declined saying something similar about not drinking. As the flight went on, we bonded over authors and ways in which we practiced sobriety, one practice she shared with me was breathwork. While I was becoming an avid meditator as well as consistently practicing yoga, I had never thought about breathwork beyond that of mediation. When she began to talk about it and how different it made her life, I had to try it. So she shared with me resources and when I finally began to practice, I was hooked.

Once again, here was another practice I wish I had had while I was a teacher, but at least I have this practice now and am so excited to share it with the educator masses as it is a technique that actually helps slow down acute stress responses and when practiced regularly, breathwork can divert health problems associated with chronic stress.

Beyond the physical benefits of breathwork, studies have shown that it can also positively impact our emotions and mental health all of which are related to our physical health. It can create feelings of openness, love, peace, gratitude, clarity, communication, and connection. (MBGMindfulness, 2020)

You can practice this one of two ways this month as an introduction:

1. Listen to this great breathwork mediation. If you have an Insight Timer subscription then you can listen to this 10 Day Course on the Foundations of Breathwork.
2. Join me, Sunday, October 17th for a live, virtual breathwork mediation!

Happy breathing!

Balance

Google’s Dictionary defines balance as:

noun

1. an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. “she lost her balance before falling“

I appreciate not only how balance is defined in this sense but also the example used in this definition. Balance enables us to remain upright and steady. Having balance or catching our balance keeps us from falling.

As an Assistant Principal, I too often see the wobble of my teachers. I can see it in their eyes, I hear it in their constricted voices when they are trying to communicate their feelings, I feel it in their presence when I ask them how they are and they have to think about their answer.

We all find balance in different ways, but the importance here is that we find it before we fall. If you feel yourself wobbling, it is imperative that you as an educator find a way to distribute your weight evenly so that you can remain upright, because when we fall, it is much harder to get up.

Now notice, I am not even saying “work-life” balance here, I am merely defining and considering what it means to be balanced. I realized what balance meant to me when I became a mom. I loved my work (still do) but more than anything, I loved spending time with my husband and our two boys. In this realization of balance, it wasn’t me saying no to my work but rather making my work closer to my family. My current role is in fact at the very school my husband is a teacher. We love talking work, strategizing about how to make the educational experience for our students and teammates better. This is a way in which I personally have found balance. In my eyes, my life is not balanced on the exterior sides of a teeter-totter but rather, bringing aspects of my life toward the middle. My goal is for my roles as a wife, mom, and administrator to not be in conflict with one another. I haven’t nailed this but I am constantly on my way. I realize this form of balance is not for everyone, but it is one way in which people can work toward balance in their lives.

Below are a few additional suggested tips and exercises to find balance as an educator. Keep in mind, I am an assistant principal. These suggestions might feel counterintuitive coming from someone in a position of management but at the same time, I know how important it is for the heart of this work, our staff members, especially teachers, work balance into their lives.

1. Know When to Say No. While a contract might expect you to do certain things, when asked a favor, or something outside that contract, it is okay to simply say, “Thanks but no thanks”. Are you currently doing more than what is expected of you? Write down everything you are doing that is outside your daily/ contractual obligations. What is something that you might be able to take off that list? Once you have identified something or somethings, then prepare yourself to have that crucial conversation. I have had many since beginning my role as an assistant principal and each time a teacher has come to me advocating “no” for themselves, my intent is to meet them with love and support. I hope they feel that and I hope you find that as well.
2. Honor Your Time. This is especially hard when we are starting out as teachers or administrators, have adopted a new curriculum, or taken on more responsibility, however there are always ways to be more thoughtful of your time. Do you keep a calendar or some kind of organization system? If not, then I recommend you do. At least build out a list of to-do’s daily and consider what needs to get done first in order for you to feel steady. If this means leaving school at a time that allows you to do something that provides you support and stability, then you need to do it.
3. Know You are Making a Difference! When we are in the weeds, surviving but barely, this one is especially hard. If you are having a difficult time seeing this, talk to a family member who constantly tells you how proud they are of you. I guarantee they will find a way to surface all the good you are doing. Make a positive phone call home to a student’s family who has expressed their appreciation. I guarantee this call will make you feel better. Or, simply write down all the things you know you are doing to make a difference. If you are having a hard time doing any of this, connect with me and I can guarantee that I will find an abundance of positives. I kid you not, DM me @teacher_renewed on IG and we will have a 20 minute conversation “basking” in your awesomeness!
4. Prioritize Your Health. I have seen lack of prioritizing your health play out in so many different ways. In The September Teacher Series I shared what happened to me, when I didn’t prioritize my health. (I ended up passing out in the United States Capitol). Teachers forget to eat or even don’t eat as they didn’t have time to prepare something healthy. Instead they begin to stop by fast food restaurants on their way into school or hop over during their limited lunch time (or order a delivery). They forget to see their doctors. They are too tired to work out. There are so many things that get in the way of our health as a priority and then you know what happens? We get sick! Then we miss work, having to create subplans (which is a feat in and of itself), then our teams are left off-kilter and the ripple effect is strong and suddenly we have a team off balance, getting sick, missing work and so the vicious cycle goes. Just to the point of saying no, sometimes we also have to say yes to ourselves! Try meal prepping Sunday evenings. I like to make a serving of quinoa to last me the week in preparation for my pre-washed salads. I also buy a bunch of apples, bananas, and oranges as these are quick grab and go items. My husband has been known to make all five of his sandwiches on Sunday. As for working out, I schedule it and let the people in my life know who it impacts that this is something on my to-do. When my husband and I were teaching together, we actually worked out at 7pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. and every Saturday afternoon. Heck, I even currently work with a teacher who plans his workouts during his prep periods (Fortunately, we have a workout room at our school). If that isn’t prioritizing his health, I don’t know what is. Be sure to prioritize your health. I know all schools and systems give you days off. Use them, they are there for a reason, even if it is a mental health day!
5. Shut Off Your Phone. Yes, I have my email on my phone. Yes, I like to scroll social media (Pinterest is my favorite), however in March of 2021 I decided to make a month long commitment of keeping my phone in my office downstairs when I went to bed. What turned into a month commitment has now been seven months. Okay, I will admit, I have had my phone in my room at bedtime three times, but honestly only three times since March. There is something so freeing to allow myself time to read my book and sleep and keep my phone at bay. I also have my do not disturb on from 8:00pm-6:00am. It was hard at first but since that initial commitment, it has now turned into a beautiful and powerful habit!
6. Don’t Forget Your Friends and Family Outside of School. Now I am still not great at this as my family complains to me that 1) I never answer my phone and 2) I am too busy, however, I will say, time with friends and family outside of school to support your “away” time from work is paramount. My dad recently moved to Wyoming. He had lived here in Colorado Springs for over 30 years. Knowing this move was coming, in February, I set out to have a monthly meal with him, his partner, my family and my sister’s family. He just moved this last week and already our time together is missed, but it was so important to have because, it is the people in our lives who are most important. In my first year as a teacher, I did not live close to my family so I had to rely on my friends, most of who were educators, but even still, I would work all day Saturday then played and relaxed hard on Sunday. In my third year of teaching and beyond, I became friends, once again with other educators, and we built our time together at trivia and even creating book clubs. Time together outside of working was one of the best outlets and ways to find balance. This week, call someone up and find time to do something outside of work together. Grab dinner or a beverage. Even if you talk about work, that is okay, but simply do something outside the walls of your school and outside of time planning, grading, organizing, etc.
7. Let It Go. This one is often easier said than done but is critical. I will also say this one has to be incredibly intentional and also has to take into account those around you who might have “control” issues. But ultimately, you are in control of how you feel. Now I am not saying don’t get your work done or make it mediocre. What I am saying is that there is a way, within yourself to breathe out how all of stress you might be feeling as an educator especially this month. I “let it go” each morning and each evening and sometimes in between. I wasn’t always like this and really held onto all the emotions until I erupted or got sick. Might I suggest the breathwork mediation from our “Breathe” portion of this month.

Bask

I will keep this one short and simple and will lean into Google’s definition for this one as well!

Bask

1. lie exposed to warmth and light, typically from the sun, for relaxation and pleasure.
   “sprawled figures basking in the afternoon sun”
2. • revel in and make the most of (something pleasing).
     “he went on basking in the glory of his first book”

I love the idea and vision for this word. Every morning I wake up, despite how I am feeling, I find a meditation to get me “basking” in my life. The second my two boys come down the stairs, I bask in their presence as this new day with them truly makes me happy. People who work with me, likely know, I come in pretty happy each morning. I can’t help but smile at my colleagues who are there with me doing this hard work. And then it is arrival time and I get to greet our amazing students. (Granted on days where it is windy, I am not always the happiest or nicest…) On most mornings you will see me so excited and eager to see our students. I imagine how my own two boys are made to feel when they step foot onto campus and each morning I say to myself, “Just as I want my own kids to feel loved, safe and cared for when they get to school, it is my job to do that for my students and my colleagues.” Sometimes this is hard because, yes, I am a middle school administrator and also human but still and/ or especially, this age group of students and their teachers need this love just as much, if not more.

To bask, I encourage you to write down everything that makes you happy in life. The smallest things count including a pumpkin spice Latte or muffin. Maybe it is when Starbucks puts out their holiday cups (this IS one of mine). Maybe you got 6+ hours of sleep the night before. Whatever it is that makes you happy, revel and make the most of it. And in those moments when life starts getting tough, remind yourself of those little things. I recently heard of a story of a woman needing a consistent reminder to be mindful so, whenever she went to the bathroom and washed her hands, that was the trigger to remind her to be mindful of whatever her intention was for the day. Maybe it is when you call your students to attention. Maybe it is every time you tell a student to pull up their pants (just kidding…or not) whatever the trigger reminder is, just remember there is something to expose you to the warmth and light you deserve.